Violence jokes
What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?
A killstreak.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer; the other one is just an orphan.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!