How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.