Vegetable jokes
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Bean.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?
Cauliflower.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.