Weather jokes
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single.
How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?
With some HOT TRACKS!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
How is the weather down there?
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
What is fall?
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
I went to catch the fog this morning, I mist.
I tried to catch fog, but sadly, I missed.