Nursing Home jokes
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.
But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.