Ups jokes
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
Memes
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
How do you know if a rapper is lying?
His rhymes don't add up.
Why did the rapper take up gardening?
Because they wanted to GROW their FLOW.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.