Ups jokes
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Memes
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.
Shut your transparent hairline up.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.