You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
Ups Jokes
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.
Shut your transparent hairline up.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. ðŸ¤
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
Welcome to the X Union. Sign up below.
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
