Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Your hairline got pulled back you look like you've been climbing Chris and you got smacked up by Will Smith
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
