Motherhood jokes

What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

What milk do orphan babies drink?

Not their mom's, though.

Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.

Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.

Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.

Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)

Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.

Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.

And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."

Baby: "Lmao, same"

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"

What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?

They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."

Me: "Why did you?"

Mom: "I was very drunk..."

Explains a lot...