Legal Action jokes

If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

Why did the chair file a restraining order?

The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!

What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

What makes suicide illegal?

Getting caught.

If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?