Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Bf: Hey, what ya doing?

Gf: Just lying in bed.

Bf: Just lying in bed?

Gf: And eating cereal.

Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?

Gf: Eat my cereal.

Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.

Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?

Shredded tweet!

Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”

What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.

Some dude called me a tool.

So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.

Guess he was right :/

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.