I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Worst Jokes Ever
One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
