Worst Jokes Ever

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven

Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere

Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

How do tourists feed their kids?

Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.

Like if you wanna have sex.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy and sent only 10 knights, each with two squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

Why do orphans play GTA5 so much?

So they could be wanted.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Students: "Meat."

Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon."

Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"

One of the students: "Homework!"

My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.

What is George Floyd's pickup line?

You are breathtaking.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

What did the traffic light say to the truck?

"Don't look, I'm about to change!"

Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

What do you call a selfie of an orphan?

A family photo.

I love gay people. UwU

I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"