Worst Jokes Ever

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

What do you call a decapitated politician?

A severed head of state.

Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."

Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."

I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!

My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving...

I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of kids.

What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?

No ballroom.

I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.

It’s called Finding Chemo.