Worst Jokes Ever
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.
Technoblade: Speedruns Life.
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
Like if your dad is abusive.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!