Worst Jokes Ever
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What did the panther say at the Poker Party? "I would be lion if I said I was a cheetah."
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I cum (Can't understand math).
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"