Worst Jokes Ever
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree... but the tree left them hanging.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?
Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.