Worst Jokes Ever
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!