Worst Jokes Ever
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
cock, cock, and cum
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?