Worst Jokes Ever
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Why can orphans not go on field trips? They need a parent signature.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.
Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
"Wanna play the rape game?"
"No!!!!"
"That's the spirit!"
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."