Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Beyoncé say, "to the left, to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
A Chinese man moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a home on a small piece of land.
The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.
He goes next door, but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbor leading a bull down the driveway and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."
"What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."
"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bull-shit!"
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
What movie do orphans relate to? Home Alone.
What do orphans call family pictures?
A selfie.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
