Worst Jokes Ever
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked.
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
How did Hitler tie his tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂