Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Worst Jokes Ever
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
My girlfriend accused me of cheating, and I said to her, "You're starting to sound like my wife."
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."