If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
What if Flappy Bird was with the Twin Towers?
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!