Time jokes

What age is served for breakfast?

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?

Happy for the first time.

What's an emo's favorite time of year?

Fall.

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?

Because they don't have father's and mother's days.

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.

Who is the oldest Dave?

Daveon.

Eons it takes to Daveon the haters.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!

"It's Sunday evening!"

"No. It's Monday eve."

childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵‍💫

I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.

(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)

Five more days.