What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
Time Jokes
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
Five more days.
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
