Time jokes
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
It davving on the eons, broski.
Today is the day, time for more jokes!
How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?
I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
What is an orphan's favorite time with his family?
"Me time."
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
"Where are you? [Because you] make me wanna throw up every time I see you."
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.