Which flies cannot be seen?
Time flies.
Time Jokes
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
