Time jokes

How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

I did have a good [time].

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

Two Timetravers walk into a bar...

...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."

Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

It's hard to predict the future,

especially before it happens.

What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?

Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.