Time Jokes

What’s red and white and black all over?

A dead white man at night time!

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

What time is it when you have a toothache?

2:30 (Tooth hurty).

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Every time I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.

"What time is it?"

"Daytime."

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."