Procrastination jokes

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

I don't have time to write this joke.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

I was gonna clean my room

before I got high.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.

I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".

I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.