Procrastination jokes

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".

I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

I was gonna clean my room

before I got high.

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.

I don't have time to write this joke.

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!

Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.

My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?

My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?

My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!

The songs: We understand you :)

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."