Time jokes

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

How do you know someone is fucking dumb?

They put jokes that have been used several times already.

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.

What's the time?

How would I know?

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Windows didn’t update in time.

"Have fun at school night" is what?

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

Nothing lasts long these days!

As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

What time is it when you say "what?"

Time to start over!