Time jokes

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?

"Are you ready for fall?"

Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?

I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.

You know why morning food digests so quickly.

Because it breaks fast.

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?

'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

What time is it when you say "what?"

Time to start over!

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

What month has 28 days?

All of them.

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.