Time jokes
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
"Have fun at school night" is what?
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
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