Think jokes
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.
Yo forehead so big you think in HD.
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Well.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
I think that church is super burning 🥵.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
What do you think of the Bill Cosby movie?
Netflix and alcohol.
I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.
Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"