I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
Gay is a mental illness
You're not thinking straight
what were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask"
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild. He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety
Bro you ever think while driving the moped why they call it footrest when foot never let it rest foot working harder than engine you push push but still go same speed like turtle with bad mood diring rabbit race...
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head just because his wife Said he was close minded
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex but one second later she did on the street with a criminal
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.” “Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Your hairline is so far back, that if you were a backbencher in class and i was a germ sitting on it, i would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated infront of the class
Hey, pass me that crow bar please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home
(credit to Ryan Lombard (I think that’s his name) from YouTube shorts, I loved this dad joke/pun)
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
