Think jokes
A man walks into a bar and places a 12-inch man onto the counter as well as a small piano. The 12-inch man starts playing the piano really well.
The bartender asks the man where he got the 12-inch man. The man says there is a genie two blocks around the corner.
The bartender runs to the genie and makes a wish. The bartender comes back with 1 million ducks. The bartender says to the man, "That genie is dumb! I asked for 1 million bucks."
The man says, "Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
You think my face is ugly? Yours is more.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
Why don’t mountains 🏔 take anything serious?
Because they think they’re hill areas! 😂
Why is a tree brown?
If you are thinking about this, you are racist.
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.