Think jokes

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

I think DJT has FTD.

When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

It's often said that people peaked in high school.

I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.