Think jokes

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Yo mama so fat.

She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.

I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Okay, okay, why [are] people askin[g] where I went[?] I[']m always on this website. Never think I[']m not.

For people who love Gwen and think she is the best person on this website, comment if so.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

Riley....I...I think I wanna be more than friends.

I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

Who thinks that Prince should just avoid Qwen and just continue the relationship?

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Algorithm.

Algorithm who?

Think Algorithm to the store.

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"