Things jokes
What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
MMM ppl just chat random things together.... JUST WRITE JOKES YA'LL!
Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.