Things jokes
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
MMM ppl just chat random things together.... JUST WRITE JOKES YA'LL!
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
Hey, join me. I be near the tree. Bring things to.
Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.