Things

Things jokes

Orange Soda

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Blind

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Sister

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

Sex

What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?

The second hour is free.

Memes

Dick pic

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

Cracker

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

Man

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

Perspective

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Fan

Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.

Scooter

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

Funeral

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Ex

The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!

Water

What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

Parent

Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?

Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.

Tell it to your parents and friends!

Piece

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.