Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
Things Jokes
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
The thing my mom birthed.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
