Things

Things jokes

Bet

    • A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

  • 4

    • Monkey

    • This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.

    An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"

    His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.

    He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"

    "MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"

    "I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."

  • 4

    • Predator

    • A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

    They're all Predators!

  • 1

    • Helicopter

    • A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?

    The helicopter blade!

  • 1
    • Things memes

    Emo

    • Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

  • 2

    • Jeffery Dahmer

    • Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

    What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

    But what is similar is tha-

    Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

    Sorry 'bout that......

    Now, as I was saying,

    What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

    Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

  • 0

    • Cat

    • An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.

    “Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.

    “I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.

  • 0

    • Woman

    • I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."

  • 4

    • Bomb

    • What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

    You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.

  • 1

    • Feminist

    • Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?

    Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.

  • 1

    • Account

    • Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and f**k off).

    Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password

    Blach66 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach66 Cleared history and forgot password

    Blach66.1 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach661 Banned for Racial Slurs, I think all my N- know what that means.

    leoxchingchongbingblachheroine https://worstjokesever.com/@leoxchingchongbingblachheroine Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    flappytitesblachheroin https://worstjokesever.com/@flappytitesblachheroin Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    arsonisfuntransgenderblach https://worstjokesever.com/@arsonisfuntransgenderblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    ahitlerblach https://worstjokesever.com/@ahitlerblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    blachxl (by Wade w my permission) https://worstjokesever.com/@blachxl Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    Eat-Thing XL(blach) https://worstjokesever.com/@eatthingxlblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion II)

    Eat-Thing XL(blach)2 https://worstjokesever.com/@eatthingxlblach2 Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion II)