Things jokes

Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.

What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.

What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?

The second hour is free.

Why can lesbians not drive cars?

They always strap the wrong thing on.

Hey girl, are you a scientist?

Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?

Thing 2: I don't know, what?

Thing 1: One gets hard faster.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.

What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?

They both see things they shouldn't.

MMM ppl just chat random things together.... JUST WRITE JOKES YA'LL!

Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.

Hey! My balls are on your thing!

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.

What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!