Things jokes

Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.

MMM ppl just chat random things together.... JUST WRITE JOKES YA'LL!

What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?

They both see things they shouldn't.

Hey, join me. I be near the tree. Bring things to.

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.