Things

Things jokes

French

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

Pedophile

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

Cancer

What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?

A: "It's me, Luigi!"

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"

My son is broken: "I think at home!"

Happiness!