Things jokes
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
No matter how black the person is, that cum will still be the whitest thing you'll ever see.
Being gay is the most masculine thing that is possible because only men can be gay.
What was the last thing going through the 9/11 victims' minds?
They don't say "shit for brains" for nothing. 🤣🤣
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
The only thing worse for a man than the end of the world is a testicular clinic.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.