Thereness jokes
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?
A baseball game has a home run.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Wanna hear a joke? Just look in the mirror, the joke's there!
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')