Thereness jokes
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
Why can't America play chess?
They're already missing 2 towers.
Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.