Thereness jokes
Why is there more water than water, because water is water.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sister.
Sister who?
My sister's ass.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?