Thereness jokes

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Mary."

"Mary who?"

"Marry me!"

Why are Americans good at Rubik's Cubes?

They're so good at separating colors.

I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.

I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)

There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...

...Steve Kerr’s team.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there is no home plate.

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".

Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.

Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?

Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!

Why do orphans go to church?

Because there they have a father.

Why do orphans play Roblox? Because there is a game called "Adopt Me!"

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.

There are only two genders.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!