Send in the clowns
Registered on · 9 followers · Last active 1 year ago

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What where your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?" The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

I asked the gym instructor

"can you teach me to do the splits?",

"How flexible are you?" He asked

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!

Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?

Because there are too many cheetahs

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old)