Thereness jokes

Michael Jackson

19 views ·

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

Emo

2 views ·

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.

House

5 views ·

There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?

Rape

831 views ·

Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.

Wife

6 views ·

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

Knife

2 views ·

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"

Exam

94 views ·

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.