That jokes

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What's the name of a crazy crap that wins everything? Winnie da Pooh.

What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?

A galiminus.

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?

An orphan.

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

Were you born on the highway? 'Cause that's where most accidents happen.

What do you call a nazi that can’t see?

A nozi.

Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.

You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.