That jokes

Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?

Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!

My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."

My superpower is that I can create life.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

What do you call a disabled person that can walk?

Enabled.

You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.

Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?

Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!

Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.

Teacher: Anyone missing?

Orphan: My parents.

Teacher: Something that is real, kid.

Orphan: My family.

Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!

What do you call a robot that feels like the opposite gender?

A transformer.

Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

What do you call a dev that is dead?

A deadveloper.

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.

What did the mama nut say to her son?

“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”

Yo mama is so ugly that Satan started going to church!

Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.

People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.

I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.

"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."