That jokes
You're so anorexic that you'd beat an Ethiopian villager in a beauty contest.
You're so skinny that every time you get an X-ray, you call it a selfie.
You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.
They said that new Juice WRLD album was shakin' good....
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Me: What's that sound?
Ex: What?
Me: Oh, it's the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.
Like the faker Gwen?
Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?
Treon: How did you find that?!
Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!
Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!
Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Treon: We can't!
Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."