That jokes

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?

Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?

A period.

You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.

Did you know the food that was on the plane?

It was the bomb.

Alright listen up you penis sucking chicken muching grape juice sipping BLACKIE!!! This is Explain Bear here to explain the joke. So the joke of “Why did the chicken cross the road” is that you expect it to be a funny punchline. But instead, you get a straightforward answer “To get to the other side” which is the logical explanation to that question. The humor is found in subversion to the subversion of expectation. Double whammy!!! So yeah that was another joke successfully explained by EXPLAIN BEAR!!!!! Dont forget to like and subscribe to my youtube channel, and until next time, BEAR OUT!!!!!!!

Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.

Did you know that water is wet?

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.

America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.