I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
Yo mama so stupid, she failed a survey.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
