Test jokes
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
..., I'm gay.
A. No
B. Maybe
C. Leave blank
D. Yes
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”