Analysis jokes
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
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A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed." The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong." The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
What did a
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Ratio.
Maths...
....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Community talk
Dear Sarah,
Your last comment was 3 days ago. You use your phone about 3-4 hours daily. You have a boyfriend, and possibly are in the field of medicine, although I can't be sure. You're right handed. (By "possibly" in the field of medicine I mean you don't seem to be in it yet, but you may be working towards it.) Ok, so you're definitely not in the field yet and are most likely in high school. You like horror, and y… Read more
jake how do you see the numbers
War in urkraine Russian losses to date are high. NATO estimates that Russia has lost between 7,000 and 15,000 soldiers. Wounded who cannot rapidly return to duty generally number about twice the number of dead.Mar 31, 2022 https://www.csis.org › analysis › rus... Russian Casualtie Afghanistan war About 15,000 Soviet soldiers were killed, and about 35,000 were wounded. About two million Afghan civilians were killed. ... just in case you were supporting russia, look at the numbers and realize how weak you really are.