Practice Jokes

The Special

Why did God make pigs before politicians?

He just needed some practice

3
Anonymous
in Ball

At baseball practice… Hey John did you bring the bucket of balls? No but I got two right here

Josiah
in Chuck Norris

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

0
YEEYEEMUTHERF...ER

Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA

BoahBllen

Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders

Dave (sorry put it in the wrong catagory)
in Trump

A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient. The doctor said, “I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient”. Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants. Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage. After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control. Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?" The patient says, “Have you got any cream for it? It’s swollen.”

Tim
in Puns

Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “ you’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup”

Honest Penaldo Fan
in Penaldo

Last week I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a BALL. I wondered where it came from but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you Penaldo for almost killing me!

Anonymous
in Gun

What’s Americas no.1 class

target practice

J0K35
in Golf

Where do golf players practice?

Near a gulf.

Anonymous
in Titanic

Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable. Article 4: the Titanic sank.

Someone campaigning for the rights of the male side of humanity.

I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc.

But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions.

Men have to go to war on the front lines.

Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven’t ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It’s because no one will take a man’s protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I’ve never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made.

And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

It’s because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this.

I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc.

Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire’women’ at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary’s and the receptionist?

Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they’re are no men around. Let’s show them how wrong they are.

(this event can be done worldwide)

Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

(I’m not against feminism it’s just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)

Imposter

Lady: Can I lick your balls? Me: Ummmmm, Ok? Lady: grabs ball sack and licks my balls Me: I gonna have to clean these now Lady: Let me do that Me: No thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!

in Emo

What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control? An edgelord

Anonymous

Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

Anonymous123
in Sister

I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throat a banana. I said why are you doing that for. I’m doing it for practice for your friends.

This is life now.

You’re mom’s just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone’s pants.

Eric Marco

Where do religious kids practice sports in the prayground

Anonymous321
in Mum

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throat a banana. I said why are you doing that for. I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood.

busboy123
in Sister

My mom show me that she could deep throat a banana. I ask how you know how to do that. My mom said I practice on your step father.