Assessment jokes

A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.

The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."

The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."

Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

Yo mama so stupid, she failed a survey.

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)

MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?

BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!

MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?

BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!

MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?

BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.

MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.

BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!

(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)

MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!

John Toberty is not funny.

Lenard is a joke.

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

This joke here is the worst.

Abigail Brynn Welch is not funny.

None of these are even funny. Just stupid.

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.

You guys are crazy!

Tyler is cool.

Yo mama so dumb, she failed the survey.

Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.

Like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.