Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Stephen hawking can pass any test but there’s one test cant pass it is the pacer test
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
My Girlfriend asked "why is this test so long and hard?" I then said "you know what else is long and hard..." She was amazed!
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school Because he cheated on a test
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
