Technology jokes
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
Why Bing is Superior tbh
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
What did I do with the internet?
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!