Technology jokes
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
His wife shut off the internet.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
What is wrong with the orphan website? It doesn't have a homepage.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
WJE Discord Server coming tomorrow!
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.