Technology jokes
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.
I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!
Who is going to start the robot takeover? Me.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!